Sexual Wellness Resource Center
For Adults over 50.

How to Have Better Sex When Overweight

Sex Overweight Partners
By Michael Bates, M.D.

Obesity is rarely if ever an obstacle to sex; very few obese persons are unable to achieve intercourse. Sex for overweight people is more likely impeded by lack of opportunity, negative body image, and fear of rejection. In spite of this, overweight people are as eager to enter into sexual relationships as their nonoverweight counterparts, provided the partner is affirming, reassuring and accepting. Most overweight people develop a fulfilling sexual life.

Dr. Barbara Buss, in the journal Consultant, notes:

  • The sexual functioning of the obese falls into the normal range.
  • For obese couples, sex is an important source of pleasure.
  • Single obese persons have a normal interest in sex, but have less opportunity to find sexual partners due to negative cultural bias.
  • Obese persons engage in normal masturbatory activity.
  • Obese persons display great ingenuity in finding comfortable sexual positions, thus minimizing the potential obstacles due to their size.

What are the best sex positions for overweight partners?

Positional aids are very helpful; they take pressure off the knees and the back and provide a lot of comfort with or without limited mobility. You have pillows and couch Liberator Positioning Rampcushions on hand, but they are not designed for sexual ergonomics.

“Liberator” shapes provide wedges and ramps that can be used on the bed and on hard surfaces. Throw those pillows, sheets and blankets on the floor! The floor is a good option, the cushions work better on a firm surface and there is more stability with squatting or kneeling.

Here are some positioning basics:

  • Less heavy partner on top
  • If both have big bellies, the female should be on top facing the foot of the bed, that way the abdomens don’t come in contact.
  • Rear entry works well for overweight couples. It is not affected by the size of the women’s buttocks and thighs; the man can rest his abdominal fat on the woman’s buttocks.
  • Positioning not usually a problem for oral sex.

Don’t forget about the pleasures of “outercourse:”

  • Oral sex
  • Manual stimulation
  • Fondling of the penis between the woman’s breasts, or anywhere there is cleavage.

What is the take home message? Obesity is rarely an obstacle to sex. Very few obese persons are unable to have intercourse.   Comfortable positions are achievable with patience and ingenuity. Don’t be hesitant to try sexual cushions.

 

About the Author

Michael Bates, M.D.

Dr Bates practiced obstetrics and gynecology for 34 years in Wichita, Kansas, until his retirement in 2011.

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