Sexual Wellness Resource Center
For Adults over 50.

Sex Wedges, Pillows & Cushions: Important Tools for Maintaining Sexual Activity As We Age

senior couple relaxing in bed
By Michael Bates, M.D.

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As we age, we don't fold and unfold quite like we used to. Mobility naturally decreases—more so if we have arthritis, are overweight, or have a chronic illness. Neck, back and joint pain can make sustained lovemaking sessions or favorite sexual positions uncomfortable. Some positions may put too much strain on stiff or arthritic joints.

This doesn't mean you have to give up on your intimate life. There are solutions! One solution is sex furniture and positioning aids, including sex pillows, wedges and cushions.

When you hear the term "sex furniture" or "sex pillows" it may bring to mind wild or athletic lovemaking. However, they are a way to make any lovemaking session more comfortable and accessible. I believe that wedge pillows in particular—used to gently elevate the hips—are underappreciated as a simple way to maintain sexual activity as we grow older.

Will any pillow work for sexual positioning? How are sex pillows or cushions different from regular pillows?

Bed pillows or throw pillows may work in a pinch. However, they aren't supportive enough to bear the weight of the body properly. They aren't ideally shaped to fit under the hips, and may not provide enough elevation. You may find yourself having to stack several pillows in order to reach the necessary height, which can become awkward.

Quality sex wedges, such as those made by Liberator, are made with firm, durable foam that is extremely supportive. They can help take the strain off of painful joints or tissues. They are also ergonomically shaped for sexual positioning, with a triangular shape and tapered decline.

Sex Furniture

How about using an orthopedic wedge pillow for sexual positioning?

You may already use a wedge pillow to elevate your head during sleep to help with sinus drainage, acid reflux or neck pain. Perhaps you use a wedge to elevate your feet for circulation issues. Orthopedic wedge pillows are supportive enough to use for sexual positioning, but there is the issue of hygiene. Good sex is often messy! If you do have a high density foam wedge pillow that you already use and like, I recommend getting a seperate one for intimate use. Make sure the cover is moisture-resistant, easily removable and washable.

Sex wedges typically come with covers that are easy to remove and wash. Liberator wedges come with a moisture-resistant liner inside the removable cover to help protect the foam.

Here are four ways to use wedges for more comfortable and satisfying sexual positioning.

1. Easier Access, Deeper Penetration and Less Strain During Vaginal Intercourse

Elevating the receptive partner's hips with a wedge pillow during vaginal intercourse makes deeper penetration not only possible, but possible with less effort. This is true whether the vaginal intercourse involves a penis or a strap-on dildo.

The receptive partner can lie down on the wedge pillow, with the tapered (thinner) edge under the back and the legs bent over the thicker edge. This opens up the vulva area and allows for a much deeper angle. The giving partner has more leverage for thrusting without exerting extra energy.

In a modified missionary position using a wedge, the receptive partner lies on the edge of the bed with a wedge under the lower back to raise the pelvis. The giving partner stands in front and thrusts slowly using the entire body, not just the hips. This full body thrust requires much less effort, offers better leverage since both feet remain on the ground, and puts little to no pressure on the lower back.

2. More Comfortable Oral Sex Positioning for Giver and Reciever

Oral sex positioning can be tricky even without mobility challenges or aches and pains. It can require the giving partner to kneel for extended periods, which isn't great on the knees. Or, it may require an uncomfortable neck angle if done lying down. The receptive partner may have to lie down with the hips off the edge of the bed in order to provide access, which doesn't feel good on the back.

A wedge placed under the receptive partner's hips elevates the pelvis, so there's less angling the neck down for the giving partner. It has the added bonus of opening up the vulva area, making oral sex easier and more pleasurable.

3. More Comfortable Manual Sex Positioning for Giver and Reciever

Clitoral stimulation and internal vaginal stimulation using the fingers can require a tricky wrist angle from the giving partner when the receptive partner's hips are flat against the bed. Add to this the prolonged stimulation we often need as we age, and it's a recipe for aching wrists—especially if there's arthritis or other pain conditions involved. Sitting up or standing beside the bed is an option, but this may feel less intimate.

A sex wedge placed under the receptive partner's hips makes the act comfortable for both partners, while maintaining close body contact.

4. Better G-Zone Stimulation During Penetrative Sex

The G-zone is the lower anterior wall of the vagina. ("Anterior" means the front or belly side of the body.) G-zone stimulation can provide great pleasure, on its own or together with exterior clitoral stimulation.

As I covered in my article on the G-zone, the standard missionary position (penetrating partner on top) doesn't provide the best opportunity for G-zone stimulation. Sex wedges and pillows can be used to modify this favorite position. Using a positioning wedge under the receiving partner's hips tilts the pelvis up, changing the angle so the penis or dildo comes into contact with the front vaginal wall during thrusting.

From-behind positions can also offer better G-zone stimulation, but being on hands-on-knees might not be comfortable for the receptive partner. Resting the elbows on a sex wedge or pillow takes the pressure off the hands and can make these positions more comfortable.

You can see non-graphic diagrams of these positions in our article: "Off Limits: The Best Sexual Positions for Limited Mobility." It offers some additional ideas for sexual positioning using wedges and cushions, too.

The same principle of elevating the hips to provide a better angle for G-zone penetration applies to other types of vaginal sex, too. For example, it can make using a G-spot vibrator or dildo easier and more comfortable, during either solo or partnered sex.

What are some examples of quality sex cushions, pillows and wedges?

Again, I recommend the Liberator brand because of its proven reputation for quality. When shopping for sex positioning aids, always look for supportive materials like dense foam, as well as easily removable and washable covers. Just like a good orthopedic or ergonomic pillow, these products are an investment, due to the cost of materials like high-density foam. Think of it as an investment in your sexual health and wellbeing!

Liberator Wedge

This high-density foam wedge has a 27-degree angle that provides support and lift for missionary position sex, as well as prolonged oral sessions without sore necks. It deepens the angle of penetration for G-zone stimulation. It is also available in plus-size. This is a classic Liberator product that is a good, solid choice for a first sexual positioning aid.


Liberator Wedge

Liberator Wedge/Ramp Combo

This is Liberator's most popular shape, and has two separate cushions so you can experiment with what's comfortable for you. The high-density foam gives an extra layer of support on top of a soft or memory foam bed. Ergonomic angles help keep you in comfortable and stable positions so you don't put extra pressure on your knees, wrists or back. It is also available in plus-size.


Liberator Wedge/Ramp Combo

Liberator Jaz

This is a petite bolster in supportive foam that gives you extra lift for prolonged oral sessions and reaching the G-zone. It is smaller than other Liberator wedges, making it a good size for travel and also a good entry-level product if you're new to trying sex wedges.


Liberator Jaz

Liberator Heart Wedge

This is a compact version of the wedge that provides lift and angles for deeper penetration. It is contoured to fit under the derriere. One of the added bonuses of this sex pillow—it comes in different colors and blends right in as a decorative pillow on the bed.


Liberator Heart Wedge Sex Pillow

What is the take-home message?

  • Decreased mobility, joint pain and fatigue don't mean the end of your sex life
  • Wedge pillows and other positioning aids are a simple way to maintain sexual activity as we grow older
  • Wedges provide better access, comfortable angles, and deeper penetration for many different types of sexual activity
  • Choose a wedge, cushion or pillow that is made from high-quality, supportive materials

Bed wedges are comfortable and a great way to get that extra "lift." Give one a try—you will be pleasantly surprised!

Advertising disclosure: This content contains affiliate links and sponsored product placements. That means that if you make a purchase through one of these links, we receive a commission. See our Advertising Disclosure page for more info.