Sexual Wellness Resource Center
For Adults over 50.

Couple use of Sex Toys and Menopause


"My wife and I enjoy sex toys, after the menopause her vaginal wall is very thin. most vibrators are harsh on penetration and rubbing the vagina is discomforting. We use lube obviously, is there any kinder sex toys we could play with."

If your wife is not already using topical vaginal estrogen cream, and has no contraindications to its use, she should get a prescription from her doctor. I usually recommended 1 applicator vaginally daily for two weeks followed by one applicator twice weekly indefinitely. This rejuvenates the lining, making it thicker and more moist. For most patients, this entirely eliminates the symptom of vaginal discomfort. It is a very low dose of estrogen and is quite safe.

Now, if vaginal estrogen is not an option I recommend putting aside the vaginal vibrator, reserving vaginal stimulation by tongue, gentle finger, or erect penis. For penetration the female on top position is better for her to control the rhythm and depth of penetration if there is discomfort. "Kinder" toys can be used for external pleasure, for instance the we-vibe vibrator that you can use together during penetration or a penis ring with a vibrating option.

Thanks for the question, I liked your phrase "kinder sex toys," you are a considerate partner.

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